bibliotherapy
A common supplement to talk therapy is bibliotherapy, or the use of books for healing and growth. I am an avid reader (and former Avid bookseller), so much of my knowledge on specific topics came through reading. Bibliotherapy connects us to other people's experiences and provides hours upon hours of support beyond what can happen through talk therapy alone. Below are some of the books that have greatly impacted my life and informed my work. Titles are listed in order of recommendation per section with underlined links to the descriptions.
sexuality & pleasure
- I Love Orgasms: A Guide to More, Solot, Miller, & Burke (2022)
- I Love Female Orgasm: An Extraordinary Orgasm Guide, Solot & Miller (2007)
- Let's Talk About It: The Teen's Guide to Sex, Relationships, and Being a Human (A Graphic Novel), Moen & Nolan
- Come Together: The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections, Emily Nagoski
- *KJ FAVORITE* Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life, Emily Nagoski
- Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire, Lori Brotto
- The Queer and Trans Resilience Workbook, Annaliese Singh
- Sex For One: The Joy of Self-Loving, Betty Dodson
- The Ultimate Guide to Kink, Tristan Taormino
- Coping with Erectile Dysfunction: How to Regain Confidence and Enjoy Sex, Metz & McCarthy
- Nina Hartley's Guide to Total Sex, Hartley & Levine
- Sex Plus: Learning, Loving, and Enjoying your Body, Laci Green
- ACE: What Asexuality Reveals about Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex, Angela Chen
- Sex Toys 101, Venning & Cavanah
- Jenna Tales: Erotica for the Woman on Top (Lip Service, Something Borrowed, Something Blue), Jenna Jameson & M. Catherine OliverSmith
complex trauma
- *#1 recommendation on this topic* Complex PTSD, Pete Walker
- Gifts from a Challenging Childhood, Jan Bergstrom
- Mother Hunger: How Adult Daughters Can Understand and Heal from Lost Nurturance, Protection, and Guidance, Kelly McDaniel
- Childhood Disrupted: How Your Biography Becomes Your Biology and How You Can Heal, Donna Jackson Nakazawa
- Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our Lives, Pia Mellody
- Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal From Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents, Lindsay Gibson
- Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma, Peter Levine & Ann Frederick
- It Didn't Start With You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle Mark Wolynn
- Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself, Melody Beattie
toxic relationships
- *top pick* Why Does He Do That? Inside the minds of angry and controlling men, Lundy Bancroft
- Should I Stay or Should I Go? A guide to knowing if your relationship can - and should - be saved, Lundy Bancroft
- Psychopath Free, Recovering from emotionally abusive relationships with narcissists, sociopaths, and other toxic people, Jackson McKenzie
- Power: Surviving and Thriving after Narcissistic Abuse, Shahida Arabi
- Out of the Fog: Moving From Confusion to Clarity After Narcissistic Abuse, Dana Morningstar
- The Empathy Trap: Understanding Antisocial Personalities, Tim McGregor & Jane McGregor
- The Sociopath Next Door, Martha Stout
- The State of Affairs: Rethinking infidelity, Esther Perel
- The Emotionally Destructive Marriage: How to find your voice and reclaim your hope, Leslie Vernick (KJ disclaimer: Christian author)
- When Loving Him Is Hurting You: Hope and Help for Women Dealing With Narcissism and Emotional Abuse, David Hawkins (KJ disclaimer: Christian author)
body image
- *top pick* Eating in the Light of the Moon: How women can transform their relationships with food through myth, metaphor, and storytelling, Anita Johnston
- Fat is a Feminist Issue, Susie Orbach
- More Than A Body: Your body is an instrument, not an ornament, Lexie Kite & Lindsay Kite
- Body Respect: What conventional health books get wrong, leave out, and just plain fail to understand about weight, Lindo Bacon
- When Food is Love: Exploring the relationship between food and intimacy, Geneen Roth
- Feeding the Hungry Heart: The experience of compulsive eating, Geneen Roth
- Breaking Free From Emotional Eating, Geneen Roth
- Shrill, Lindy West (the show on Hulu is also spectacular)
- Intuitive Eating, 4th Edition: A revolutionary anti-diet approach, Evelyn Tribole & Elyse Resch
- Anti-Diet: Reclaim your time, money, well-being, and happiness through intuitive eating, Christy Harrison
- The Body Is Not An Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love, Sonya Renee Taylor
emotional health
- *START HERE!!* The Gifts of Imperfection, Brene Brown
- Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, Emily Nagoski & Amelia Nagoski
- Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself, Kristen Neff
- You Are A Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life, Jen Sincero
- The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, Mark Manson
- Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression and The Unexpected Solutions, Johann Hari
- Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity, Devon Price
- Standing at the Edge: Finding Freedom Where Fear and Courage Meet, Joan Halifax
- How to Change Your Mind: What the New Science of Psychedelics Teaches Us About Consciousness, Dying, Addiction, Depression, and Transcendence, Michael Pollan
- Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive, Kristen Neff
healthy relationships
- Mating in Captivity, Esther Perel
- The Ethical Slut, 3rd Edition: A practical guide to polyamory, open relationships, and other freedoms in sex and love, Hardy & Easton
- *2025 New Year Rec* Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good, adrienne maree brown
- The Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman (KJ disclaimer: Christian author)
- The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, Gottman & Silver (KJ disclaimer: heteronormative)
- Men Who Can't Love: How to Recognize a Commitmentphobic Man Before He Breaks Your Heart, Carter & Sokol (KJ disclaimer: heteronormative and monogamous relationships)
- He's Scared She's Scared: Understanding the Hidden Fears That Sabatoge Relationships, Carter & Sokol (KJ disclaimer: heteronormative and monogamous relationships)
personality types
- The Wisdom of the Enneagram: The Complete Guide to Psychological and Spiritual Growth for the Nine Personality Types, Don Richard Riso & Russ Hudson
- The Sacred Enneagram: Finding Your Unique Path to Spiritual Growth, Heuertz
- Personality Types: Using the Enneagram for Self-Discovery, Riso & Hudson
- The Modern Enneagram: Discover Who You Are and Who You Can Be, Berghoef & Bell
- Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking, Susan Cain
- The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You, Elaine Aron
therapy
- Feminist Therapy, Laura Brown
- Systemic Sex Therapy, Hertlein, Gambescia, & Weeks
- Body Centered Psychotherapy: The Hakomi Method: The Integrated Use of Mindfulness, Nonviolence, and the Body, Ron Kurtz
- A Clinician's Guide to Gender Affirming Care, Chang, Singh, & dickey
- On Being a Therapist, Jeffrey Kottler
- The Therapist's Workbook, Jeffrey Kottler
- The Compassion Fatigue Workbook, Françoise Mathieu
- Maybe You Should Talk To Someone, Lori Gottlieb